


A reason to exist -DRARRY

by xiiBrokeniix



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Child Abuse, Cutter - Freeform, Cutting, Depressed Draco Malfoy, Depression, DracoxHarry - Freeform, Drarry, Explicit Language, Fluff, M/M, Post Battle of Hogwarts, Post War, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-War, Romance, Sadness, Self-Harm, Slash, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Unhappy, after war, cursing, depressed, suicidal, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 09:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10660122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiiBrokeniix/pseuds/xiiBrokeniix
Summary: Draco's left alone and empty after the war, everyone at school hates him and he gets beat up nearly every day by bullies. Harry senses something is off about Draco and wants to help. Will Harry be able to uncover a secret that Draco has kept so well all these years? and with all the abuse that Draco has suffered through will he be able to trust Harry with the dark contents of his mind, or will he push away the only person that seems to care?TRIGGER WARNINGS: SELF HARM, CHILD ABUSE, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, EXPLICIT LANGUAGE, CURSINGS, DEPRESSION.xiiBrokeniix©





	A reason to exist -DRARRY

Please leave a comment if you want another chapter it really brightens up my day when I see a comment on my fanfictions, it means that there are actually people out there that like my writing ^-^

Disclaimer: All characters, objects, spells and places in this story belong to J.K Rowling.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Self-harm, Suicide/Suicidal thoughts, Depression, Cursing and Child Abuse

Harry/Draco Pairing

 

Drarry

 

This will never ever have smut if I add more chapters, it will have fluff though. So, if you're a perv only here to read smut, then sorry, you won't find it here.

 

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Have you ever wished to cease to exist?

The thought was all too familiar with Draco Malfoy.

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It’s Saturday morning,

Most Slytherins don’t go down to the great hall to eat, they mainly stay in bed, catching up on their sleep.

But Draco, on the other hand, would like nothing to do with sleep, he knew that staying awake in the dark hours of the night had left him looking awful, but he didn’t care.

He would do anything to keep the recurring nightmares from flooding his mind. Sometimes, however, he wasn’t as strong, he couldn’t stay awake and his mind forced him into a lifeless state of sleeping.

The nightmares he received haunted him greatly.

Draco had things he wished he had not done in his past and he knew deep down that he would never be able to live these things down.

Everyone will remember the ‘Malfoy’ family who served the Dark Lord but quickly left the whole war behind them.

Cowards.

Draco considered himself a coward. He was afraid of everything since the war ended, whenever he heard his name he knew he had done something wrong.

No one spoke to him civilly anymore and If someone were to speak to Draco it was only to throw insults at his back or beat him up.

His father and mother had left once the war ended, they didn’t care to take him with him.

Not after finding out that Draco was gay.

His father was infuriated and took his anger out on him.

Even though Draco didn’t know the exact location of his parents he knew it wasn’t too far away

His father had sent him owls, but the contents of them were not light-hearted, and most if not all were dark.

Sometimes his father commanded him to meet him in the most unusual of places, and once he got there, Lucius would beat him or flog him as a punishment, Lucius seemed to think that if he hurt his son enough he could simply beat the gay out of him, but it simply didn’t work that way.

He was surprised that the ministry hadn’t found his father yet, he saw the wanted posters with his father's photo nearly everywhere, the reward price growing every day.

His mother, on the other hand, he hadn’t seen since the end of the war, she hadn’t sent him any owls either.

She was probably forbidden to by his father.

But no matter, Draco didn’t really care.

The only reason he wasn’t in Azkaban was because the ministry pitied him, they thought that it wasn’t his fault that he participated with the Death Eaters to help Voldemort and even though he had gotten the Dark Mark, it was a war he was born into and he had no choice.

At the end of the trial, the majority of the people voted him to have no legal action placed upon him because some mysterious person came and testified for him.

Draco shuddered to think how easy he got away with his crime.

He wasn’t quite sure if he was grateful or annoyed at his mysterious savior.

Life at Hogwarts seemed worse than Azkaban with all the beatings he got from his bullies, but at least it was better than being in chains. 

But his mind felt like a jail cell, so was there any difference?

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Draco stared blankly at the dark ceiling, curtains covering his windows so no light could make its way in. His hands brushed over the green, silk-like fabric of his sheets. With a heavy sigh, Draco pulled the sheets off his body and climbed out of bed.

With all the strength he had left in him, he showered and grabbed some clean robes. Putting the robes over his body, covering various scars, from the Dark Lord and his father, some he did himself.

Not even bothering with his hair, he stepped outside his single room and out the Slytherin common room.

After the war, every Slytherin got their own room for various reasons.

Draco walked the corridors alone, earning multiple stares from other houses. Death glares, from Gryffindors, cautious glares, from Ravenclaws, and worried glances from Hufflepuffs.

He walked up the newly fixed stairs, to Divination, his head hung low, avoiding any human eye contact, he didn’t want to run into his usual bullies, not today, he wasn’t in the mood.

Even if he wanted them to stop he wouldn’t be able to get them all off him, as they usually walked together in a gang of six and he was in a lonely trio of one.

Once Draco reached his class, he opened the door with caution, only half of the class were inside, and he realized he was early. Draco peered around the room, taking his seat furthest away from the rest of the class.

Once the rest of the class joined, Ms. Trelawney began to speak “Ah, Welcome! Now, putting everything behind us, let’s get started, shall we? First, let’s put you into pairs that I have chosen for you!” She fixed her big round glasses and pointed towards the pairs,

“Ron Weasley, Dean Thomas!”

“Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson!”

“Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy!”

Draco and Harry made eye contact before Harry walked over to the table Draco was sitting at. While Ms. Trelawney was telling them what to do next.

“Now that you all have your pairs, your assignment is to use one of the spells we have learned in our past classes together to look into the other person's mind, your task is to find out one secret about the other person. Hurry up and choose who’s doing what!”

Draco has not yet looked up to meet Harry’s eyes again, he simply just looked at the crystal ball in the middle of the table, getting lost in his own negative thoughts about himself.

He heard his name being called out,

“Malfoy?” Harry asked again,

Draco slowly lifted his head up and raised an eyebrow “Yes?”

“I think we should choose you”

“Why’s that?” Draco retorted.

“Mostly because everyone already knows everything about me,” Harry said shrugging his shoulders,

“No thanks, my secrets are none of your concern,” Draco said, zoning out again.

“Stop that,” Harry said abruptly,

Draco looked up at Harry with a confused look “Hm?” Draco asked, not fully aware of his surroundings,

“Stop zoning out, it’s not helping our assignment.”

Draco didn’t respond, he only shrugged his shoulders,

“What’s wrong with you, Malfoy?” Harry asked a genuine look of concern playing upon his face.

Draco had dark circles under his eyes, a cut on his lip from gosh knows what, his eyes were empty and his skin was paler than usual.

“Nothing Potter.” Draco refused to tell Harry any of his secrets, even if it meant failing the assignment.

“That’s a lie Malfoy, I mean look at you, it’s depressing to see you like this.”

Draco wearily looked up at Harry “Listen, Potter, I am fine.”

Harry shook his head and brang his voice to a low whisper “No your not. You look horrible.”

Draco shot Harry a violent glare “Shut up, I said I was fine.”

“Malfoy, what happened to you?”

Draco felt tears forming and he gulped forcing them back into his body,

“I can help you Malfoy if you tell me what’s wrong.”

Draco angrily whispered “How many damn times do I have to tell you that I’m fine, huh? I don’t need your help.” He said before slamming his book shut and throwing it into his bag.

“This assignment?” Harry asked as Draco stood from his seat.

“Just fail it,” Draco replied blankly before leaving the room.

Harry watched Draco leave, his walk had lost its usual confident swagger, he rarely looked anyone in the eye. If someone would even accidentally brush his arm in the corridors he would just flinch and back away. Malfoy never spoke to anyone, it was only because of their assignment that he had spoken to Harry. Harry wanted to find out more about Malfoy, why he was the way he was. Why he shut everyone out. Why human contact was so horrible to him.

Harry was going to find out whether Draco wanted him to or not.

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Locked, in the bathroom stall, an eighteen-year-old Draco Malfoy's entire body shook with silent sobs.

As he angrily wiped away the tears, the cold voice of his father echoed in his head;

'Malfoys don't cry.'

Ashamed by his own weakness the blonde haired boy dug his nails into his palms creating half-moon dents in his skin. He bit down hard on his lip, trying to keep himself from screaming but he was   
unable to keep the whimper of pain from escaping his body as he drew blood.

He licked the cut which caused a slight sting. Wiping the blood of the sleeves of his robes, the young wizard stood and exited the cubicle.

He was fine.  
A single startled gasp escaped the blonde's mouth as he caught sight of his own reflection in the mirror. Although he was usually considered to be a well groomed and handsome young wizard, even he had to admit that he looked dreadful.

His eyes were puffy and red-rimmed from where he'd been crying and black circles were around them from his lack of sleep.

His hair was a horrible mess; not as untamed as Potters, though.

Then there was his cut lip, it wasn't too bad but it didn't help his character look any better.

He turned on the cold tap splashing water over his face cleaning it up a bit.

The blonde looked up with water clinging to his eyelashes, still unsatisfied with his appearance he reached for his comb.

When his hair was satisfyingly neat he put the comb away and picked up his wand muttering a spell and to his relief his eyes were back to their normal piercing silver selfs, and there was no evidence left that suggested he had been crying.

Collecting his bag, he placed his wand away before leaving the bathroom. He roamed absentmindedly through the corridors, bumping into someone on the way causing both of them to lose their balance.

Turning his head in confusion he came face to face with a rather angry looking Hermione Granger.

Draco groaned inwardly at his luck; of all the people he had to bump into it had to be one of the members of the golden trio, didn't it?

"Watch where you're going ferret!" Ron half screamed and sneered at the blonde haired boy as he helped Hermione to her feet.

Usually, Draco would have replied with a spitting insult, but he wasn't in the mood. He pulled himself to his feet and whispered a silent “Sorry” before walking away, his head hung low.

“RON!” Harry screamed angrily “That was rude!”

Ron scoffed “Since when do you care? He had it coming to him” 

Harry shook his head at his friend, and they continued to walk back to their common room, as it was quite late already. 

Harry found his thoughts wandering about Draco, tomorrow he would surely find out what was wrong with him. 

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Sorry for the Cliff Hanger ^-^

I like comments and kudos they encourage me to write more c: 


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